英格力士，俺也来一段

changkongceyi

诸位大侠：
      小弟经常吹嘘自己在学新概念，怕自己把这事儿说着说着就忘了，现在还在基础阶段，献丑来一段，诸大侠莫笑
                                                                                         Journey to Baoji
     As a yong guy who still is interested in playing,how to spend my holiday is a really serious problem for me.As I have little money,the choices for me are very few,I can not afford anything coast much.At the end of last December,I met the problem again,but I am not a guy who does not dare to have a crazy idea.
After asking a friend comes from Baoji,I got my destation for my holiday,it is Baoji where I would to go .I have several friends there and it is also a city rich in history and the coast would also be little.I am sure it is an ideal place for my vacation.But the most important thing is that I want go there by biycle alone in such a cold winter.
    With warm clothes,gloves,torch,enough food, drink,and even spare battery,I got my start at the morning of 31th,December,I was sure it would be a wonderful gift for my new year.At my startline,the time is 7:50pm.I did not check any map before my start because I think it is more interseting if I go the way by my own ability.So I went to south along 210 road,the road which took me to one of the higest mountain of Qinling,there were few people on the way that morning, I rade fast for I had past there several times.but there were several trees new planted fell down on the way,the trees were so large that I had to stop to get a new way,they always do thus stupid things for us as we all know.
   After 210 road,I went to west along 107 road,it is a way located at the north of Qingling mountains,I had a good look at of the mountains on my way to west ,there are many scenry spots along the mountin I had visted several in 2012,I can remember all I had done there.When I was riding there was a message came,I read it at my rest point,it read”happy new year”,came from my phone manager who gave me the opportunities to meet Liangwendao and Qulimin this year and I learnt a lot from them,so I sent a message back to her about what I was doing and how beautiful it is to see the smog along this way with the best wishes to her for the new year.After this I went on riding again,the distence from my point to Baoji was still far enough. To my surprise is that there are several long slope,I had to slow down.to save my energy.Several hours later,I arrived a cross,there was a driver who having a rest,I asked him the distence to Baoji from my point,he told me that there is a half,hearing that I was shocked,may I get my destination on time?But all what I can do that moment is keep riding,I can not give up my plan.
   To avoid worrying much about the trip,I started to linsten music by a nano borrowed from my friend,it is really important to take it easy at such a nervous moment.When I arrived at the way to Taibai,the highest mountain of Qinling,I asked an old man how to get my destination again,he told me there is a distence of 70km left for me and there are few resterants or hotels along the way, it would be a hard way.After eating the food in my bag I turned on my torch,it is dangerous to ride without it in dark.As a happy fool,I can stay calm when I am alone,I can play game with myself just like sid,so I had a good time in my riding,I had a carefully look at of the stars on sky,we can hardly see these beautiful stars in city,you can have a great share of it.
    After 14 hours riding,I got my destation at 10 in night,my friends were waiting me worrily there,one of them laughed”you are a really happy fool”,but all what I wanted that time were food and rest,I was so starve and tired to say any more.
此次旅行从2012.12.31开始，结束于2013.1.3，共计行程400公里左右，单人单车，收获如下：
            1.        伯努利方程貌似对卡车也有效——俺在宝中线返程时身旁有重型卡车有高速通过，俺感到了股强烈的气流，吹得俺都有摆动，然后俺真的明白火车站那道线的意义…
, Y* P9 {1 U' f; A0 [5 T            2.        冲锋衣PU涂层真的透气——俺返程后发现背包带是湿的，而外套却是干的，材料真 的很有趣
; C' ?7 z( t, f            3.        靠估计不可能一直玩下去——俺朋友的商店吊顶用轻型龙骨，已经有明显塌陷，他们干活没有计算
            4.        没文化很可怕——炎帝祠有堵名人题字的墙，但仔细看看发现挺有趣：发展、弘扬、促进、提高，还有一位要尽早完成祖国统一的…俺第一感觉是运动会入场口号
            5.        没追求更可怕——朋友的朋友，2012总共工作两个月（打工，两个月便放弃），不读书、不做事，成天无所事事，住处垃圾堆得跟山似的，听到俺读书的第一句话是“那有啥读的”
: e8 V4 e5 X( }/ O' D

超越自己

写得不错，这会有点儿眼疼，看的花了，等会我再好好看看，不知道之前基础怎么样，写得还是不错的。继续加油，等哪几我也上来秀一下，哈哈。

robaiming

兄弟学了多久了，在你面前很惭愧啊

泼墨

第一句语法错误就很多    建议把语法巩固一下

天水蓝

楼主还是很有潜力的哦.
恕我直言，兄弟写的这段，基本是中文思维和中文语感。建议楼主尽量多读多背好的文章，定有大的突破

工具人

无论如何，写了这么多都要鼓励一下，俺除了考GRE作文之前突进那阵子，都没怎么写过这么长的。不知道为什么不能给你加分。。。
好多语法和拼写错误可以被word校正。
这篇如果给外国人看的话，可能看得不是很顺畅，但大意能懂。话说回来，中国人写的东西，有几个能让外国人看得通畅呢
他们自己写的东西也都语病连连，简单一例, I don't know nothing about this，怎么翻译？习惯用法而已。语言本来就是说的人多了，错的也成了对的。
能交流是目的，楼主加油！

04102

佩服一下。。俺在宝鸡的说
% I7 O6 v) @2 |% p0 [/ }加油吧

gerry0086

想学英语 但音标都忘记了

秋山雨亭

当初学的时候也没在意